The votes have been counted and the results are in, and it proves that virtually all the winners are lying, cheating, dirty, filthy, unsporting bastards – which is exactly what the real national charts are like, exactly what Battle of The Band competitions are like, exactly what shite TV Talent shows are like and exactly what life is like… Enjoy! It’s only a bit of fun 🙂
BEST BAND
1. I FIGHT LIONS
2. dragSTER
3. THE SICK LIVERS
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BEST NEW BAND
1. ATLAS WILL ATONE
2. ORIENT MACHINE
3. RADIO RHYDD
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BEST SINGLE
1. ZEBEDY – Marionette
2. STRAIGHT JACKET LEGENDS & MC LARS – She’s Out of Line
3. WOBBLY HEARTS – Boom On (With God on My Side)
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BEST ALBUM
1. I FIGHT LIONS – I Fight Lions
2. ZEBEDY – Marionette
3. SICK LIVERS – Motors, Women, Drugs, Booze & Killing
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BEST ARTWORK (ALBUM OR SINGLE)
1. RAPID PIG – Wildlife (by Dan Birbeck)
2. SICK LIVERS – Motors, Women, Drugs, Booze & Killing
3. TEENAGE MAFIA – Pseudo Masochism
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BEST MUSICIAN
1. RHYS EVANS (of Atlas Will Atone / I Fight Lions)
2. CALLUM O’MARAH (drummer of Radio Rhydd)
3. DAMIR BOJANIC (of Klaus Kinski, Teenage Mafia and others)
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FAVOURITE FORMAT
1. VINYL
2. CD
3. DOWNLOAD
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BEST GIG OR LIVE SET OF 2013
1. ZEBEDY / LANTERN Birthday Bash
2. SICK LIVERS at Slugfest
3. RADIO RHYDD at Gwyl Gardd Goll
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BEST FESTIVAL OF 2013
1. OUT OF THE ASHES
2. THE DIRTY WEEKEND
3. SLUGFEST
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BEST VENUE
1. THE COMPASS, CHESTER
2. CENTRAL STATION, WREXHAM
3. THE LIVE ROOMS, CHESTER
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BEST RADIO SHOW
1. ADAM WALTON ON BBC RADIO WALES
2. UBER ROCK RADIO SHOW
3. MARC RILEY ON 6 MUSIC
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BEST WEBSITE
1. LINK2WALES
2. UBER ROCK
3. LOUDER THAN WAR
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BEST MAGAZINE / FANZINE / BOOK
1. VIVE LE ROCK
2. GINGE KNIEVIL’S SHIT PAPER
=3. NME
=3. MORRISSEY’S AUTOBIOGRAPHY
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HERO OF THE YEAR
1. DAN READ
2. SOUNDHOG
3. GINGE KINEVIL
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TWAT OF THE YEAR
1. DIRTY VULTURES PROMOTIONS
2. DAN READ
3. JIMMY WATKINS (Future of The Left)
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BIGGEST STORY OF 2013
1. DEATH OF MARGARET THATCHER
2. FANS BANNED FROM VACCINES GIG IN LLANDUDNO FOR NOT
KNOWING THE SINGER’S NAME
3. WHEATUS PLAYING IN HOLYHEAD
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WORST BAND
1. ARTISFICTION
2. THE SICK LIVERS
3. TRIGGER McPOOPSHUTE
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HOPES FOR 2014
1. NEIL CRUD & STEVE RASTIN RELEASE A CHRISTMAS SINGLE
2. ALL TV TALENT SHOWS END
3. RADIO RHYDD INVADE THE UK
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FEARS FOR 2014
1. NHS IS SOLD OFF
2. EVEN LESS PEOPLE AT GIGS EVEN MORE PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK
3. VENUES CLOSING
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SILLIEST BAND NAME
1. TRIGGER McPOOPSHUTE
2. SPAM JAVELIN
3. SEVERED HEAD & THE NECK FUCKERS
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SEX SYMBOL
1. HYWEL PITTS (I Fight Lions)
2. JAKE McKENNA
3. MATTY KINEVIL (Sick Livers)
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BEST VIDEO
1. I FIGHT LIONS – Crooked
2. ZEBEDY – Marionette
3. IRMA VEP – She Makes Me Wear A Saddle
Congratulations to all the winners, and those people who endlessly voted for themselves…
Let me know if you want to know the real genuine winners (9 of whom actually do top the categories) ha ha..!!
October 31, 2013 @ 10:10 pm
Fuck Yeah
December 2, 2013 @ 12:14 am
Ha ha love it!!! That is true
December 2, 2013 @ 8:27 am
Good stuff think thats fair.