State of The World

By |March 17th, 1994|0 Comments

Neil Crud’s column published in Second Avenue fanzine – issue 4
When I see that the government are closing down hospitals and dismantling the health service, and on the same breath, splenetically deny that they are doing so, then I see them squeeze the living daylights out of this country and tell us we’ve never had it so good, it makes me want to go out and riot in the streets. A fat lot of good that would do, I’d end up in prison, brandished the scourge of society and nothing will have changed. But it’s not just The Government, it’s local government; the councils; organisations which are so badly run that I’m flabbergasted how on earth these people were elected in the first place. There should be a code of conduct that prevents councils treating ordinary folk like bits of dust which can be swept under a rug. I’m talking about RED TAPE; “Look Sir! You can’t claim a rent rebate because you didn’t send your form back in time.” “But I was only sent it yesterday.” “No I’m sorry Sir, rules are rules.” Things like that make me violently sick.

When I see the state of the world, I see that religion plays a huge part in it’s sad and pathetic state. If a person chooses to believe in a faith then that’s entirely up to he or she. The problem lies with those who try to (and do) implement religion to control and govern. In the dark days when barbarism ruled, the few more intelligent soon learnt that killing thousands of the tribes of people resulted in endless massacre, so why not put the fear of the unknown into them? After all, man has worshipped ‘gods’ throughout history, so why not worship one god through ‘God’s interpreters’? Vicars, Ayatollahs, Evangelists, Popes, Archbishops etc. are all the descendants of this Big Plan. The only thing that went wrong was that too many people had the same idea, so they pitched battles against each other. So as the normal ‘tribal wars’ continued and have done so to the present day over land rights, a new cause to fight for emerged: Religion. “Hey my God is better that your God.”

In one way ‘the fear of God’ did keep the populations in line to an extent, it at least kept the in-house squabblings down, I use the the term in the wake of the James Bulger case, a 16 year old being tortured for a week before being burnt to death and a mother being stabbed to death in front of her 2 year old son. 30 years ago when the church held a tighter grip over society, cases like this were rare, they still occurred but not on a daily basis like today. Having said that, in 1939 the clergy were there praying for the armies of their respective countries as they raped and pillaged their way through nations.

Crud’s Compost Corner

By |May 17th, 1991|0 Comments

Published in Macher fanzine – issue 8
NOW that CRUD and 4Q are near enough fond memories what has replaced them? Macher, in the way of being informative – as far as the Welsh scene is concerned continues to keep in touch, and a-ha PYW DALL have emerged amongst a hail of controversy. I’m in no way stating that Macher or Pyw Dall are Crud/4Q clones (far from it) both are original in their own right. What I’m getting at is that it’s great to see someone else stir shit as Dave did on Ian (stewed to the) Gill’s show stating honest views on Crosville buses among other things.

As well as this, reactions are being stirred in a second rate Welsh magazine called Sothach. Y’know the type I mean, a publication that feels high enough to criticise individuals on a personal basis, when all they’re doing is generating publicity for the people they slag off, there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

My wife arrived home the other day and said: “Neil, I’ve got some news, we’re going to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet.’

“Oh, are you pregnant ?’ I replied.”No, I’ve got crabs.’

See you in number nine, in the meantime keep taking the tablets.

Love and sticky white stuff,

CRUD’S Top 10 playlist.

l. All You Need Is Crud-Beatles

2. Addicted to Crud-Robert Palmer

3. Can’t Buy Me Crud-Beatles

4. Let Crud Rule-Lenny Kravitz.

5. One Crud-Bob Marley

6. I Should Be So Cruddie-Kylie Minogue

7. What Time Is Crud-KLF

8. Groovy Kind Of Crud-Phil Collins

9. Dawns Y Crudiau-Yr Anhrefn

l0. Should Crud Stay Or Should Crud Go-The Clash.

Crud 9

By |December 26th, 1990|0 Comments

Issue 9 of Crud fanzine was never released.

Crud 9 Flyers

By |December 24th, 1990|0 Comments

It was so close to being issued, even to the extent of producing flyers…

Crud’s Compost Corner

By |December 17th, 1990|0 Comments

Published in Macher fanzine – issue 7
One finds it increasingly difficult to explain the initial sensation of heat differentation when one immerses ones buttocks into a bath of steaming hot water. The same difficulty is encountered when I put the question to why I compile CRUD. The solution to both puzzling queries is similar – it gives me a hard on!!!!!!

CRUD 8 emerged a year ago, the long awaited CRUD 9 will be induced at hospital very shortly. The reason for such a long gap is that although most of you clean living twat bags would like to see there, I could have provoked HM Hit Squad into pushing a prison sentence my way, due to the fact I’ve been on bail for the previous 6 months. And all because I refer to nuns in a different way to Harry Secombe (I bet he thinks the same way though).

4Q as far as I’m concerned is over & done with, although I hear rumours that Cumi is determined to save his ego & flog the already rotting horse even further. If this turns out to be the case I want MACHER readers to know that I have nothing to do with 4Q anymore, & I am totally against non-original members using the name 4Q to pick up on a captive audience.

My plums are prickling on the thought of another MACHER. Dave has now become a legend among zine writers so keep supporting him you ungrateful cunts. That’s it until my next COMPOST CORNER, keep shooting your rocks off & saving your belly button fluff.