The votes have been counted and the results are in, and it proves that virtually all the winners are lying, cheating, dirty, filthy, unsporting bastards – which is exactly what the real national charts are like, exactly what Battle of The Band competitions are like, exactly what shite TV Talent shows are like and exactly what life is like… Enjoy! It’s only a bit of fun 🙂

BEST BAND
I Fight Lions

1. I FIGHT LIONS
2. dragSTER
3. THE SICK LIVERS

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BEST NEW BAND

1. ATLAS WILL ATONE
2. ORIENT MACHINE
3. RADIO RHYDD

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BEST SINGLE
Zebedy Bar Uno1
1. ZEBEDY – Marionette
2. STRAIGHT JACKET LEGENDS & MC LARS – She’s Out of Line

3. WOBBLY HEARTS – Boom On (With God on My Side)

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BEST ALBUM
I Fight Lion1
1. I FIGHT LIONS – I Fight Lions
2. ZEBEDY – Marionette
3. SICK LIVERS – Motors, Women, Drugs, Booze & Killing

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BEST ARTWORK (ALBUM OR SINGLE)
RAPID PIG
1. RAPID PIG – Wildlife (by Dan Birbeck)
2. SICK LIVERS – Motors, Women, Drugs, Booze & Killing
3. TEENAGE MAFIA – Pseudo Masochism

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BEST MUSICIAN
RHYS ATLAS
1. RHYS EVANS (of Atlas Will Atone / I Fight Lions)
2. CALLUM O’MARAH (drummer of Radio Rhydd)
3. DAMIR BOJANIC (of Klaus Kinski, Teenage Mafia and others)

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FAVOURITE FORMAT

1. VINYL
2. CD
3. DOWNLOAD

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BEST GIG OR LIVE SET OF 2013
zebedy
1. ZEBEDY / LANTERN Birthday Bash
2. SICK LIVERS at Slugfest
3. RADIO RHYDD at Gwyl Gardd Goll

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BEST FESTIVAL OF 2013
OOTA
1. OUT OF THE ASHES
2. THE DIRTY WEEKEND
3. SLUGFEST

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BEST VENUE
compass
1. THE COMPASS, CHESTER
2. CENTRAL STATION, WREXHAM
3. THE LIVE ROOMS, CHESTER

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BEST RADIO SHOW
WALTON
1. ADAM WALTON ON BBC RADIO WALES
2. UBER ROCK RADIO SHOW
3. MARC RILEY ON 6 MUSIC

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BEST WEBSITE
link2wales-logo
1. LINK2WALES
2. UBER ROCK
3. LOUDER THAN WAR

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BEST MAGAZINE / FANZINE / BOOK
vive-le-rock
1. VIVE LE ROCK
2. GINGE KNIEVIL’S SHIT PAPER
=3. NME
=3. MORRISSEY’S AUTOBIOGRAPHY

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HERO OF THE YEAR
DAN READ
1. DAN READ

2. SOUNDHOG
3. GINGE KINEVIL

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TWAT OF THE YEAR
DVP
1. DIRTY VULTURES PROMOTIONS
2. DAN READ
3. JIMMY WATKINS (Future of The Left)

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BIGGEST STORY OF 2013
_66817675_thatcher512
1. DEATH OF MARGARET THATCHER
2. FANS BANNED FROM VACCINES GIG IN LLANDUDNO FOR NOT
KNOWING THE SINGER’S NAME

3. WHEATUS PLAYING IN HOLYHEAD

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WORST BAND

1. ARTISFICTION
2. THE SICK LIVERS
3. TRIGGER McPOOPSHUTE

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HOPES FOR 2014

1. NEIL CRUD & STEVE RASTIN RELEASE A CHRISTMAS SINGLE
2. ALL TV TALENT SHOWS END
3. RADIO RHYDD INVADE THE UK

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FEARS FOR 2014
David Cameron Hospital Bed-677917
1. NHS IS SOLD OFF
2. EVEN LESS PEOPLE AT GIGS EVEN MORE PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK
3. VENUES CLOSING

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SILLIEST BAND NAME
dog_poop_shoot_out_rex
1. TRIGGER McPOOPSHUTE
2. SPAM JAVELIN
3. SEVERED HEAD & THE NECK FUCKERS

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SEX SYMBOL
HYWEL PITTS
1. HYWEL PITTS (I Fight Lions)
2. JAKE McKENNA
3. MATTY KINEVIL (Sick Livers)

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BEST VIDEO

1. I FIGHT LIONS – Crooked
2. ZEBEDY – Marionette
3. IRMA VEP – She Makes Me Wear A Saddle

Congratulations to all the winners, and those people who endlessly voted for themselves…
Let me know if you want to know the real genuine winners (9 of whom actually do top the categories) ha ha..!!