Battling The Bands
There’s not many things Adam Walton and myself agree on, he always insists on being Dad when we play House and he also makes me sleep on the couch when I’ve had a drink as he says my snoring keeps him awake. But what we do agree on is Liverpool have had better seasons and that Battle of The Bands competitions SUCK BIG TIME.
So why and how the fuck did I end up sitting on a panel sneering like some slap head Simon Cowell at a bunch of bands hoping for that shot winning the coveted ‘Best Band’ title? And, who the fuck am I to judge whether one band is better than another. Well, obviously one band is better than another, but it’s all down to your taste; one man’s Stuntface is another woman’s JLS.
Battles of The Bands suck big time – that is a fact. I’ve never entered one myself, although when I managed Pocket Venus I put them into a competiton in Ellesmere Port and instigated that they trashed the brand new drum kit that was provided for the evening. Now that was a spectacle, all hell broke loose, fisty-cuffs, finger pointing, boo-ing and lots of jeering – funnily enough they didn’t win, but the night like any BoTB night is hardly about the quality of the music, but more about the rent-a-mob you bring with you to make a noise.
Do you blame bands for entering these competitions? Do you blame the organisers for dangling tempting carrots, luring these bands’ aspirations? What do they win? A place at Glastonbury opening in a tent on a mud-soaked Tuesday morning to some diary cows bursting with milk? A day in a recording studio canteen or a month’s supply of Big Macs? – I dunno.
So, anyway, Cumi phones me and asks if I’ll judge one of these competitions, and against me better judgement [sic] I agreed. Ok, let’s look at the pros of this particular night at Venue Cymru in Llandudno… The bands get to play on a big stage with a great sound and lights in front of 650 people, which for most is a first time experience and a memorable one, and you cannot deny that that can only be a good thing.
The cons… The judging panel consisted of the venue manager, a police superintendent, a BBC Radio Wales weather girl, a 70 year old drum tutor and his mother who was the mayoress of Llandudno. Oh, and some twat called Neil Crud. Now please excuse my ignorance, but when I saw my co-judges, apart from the drum guy and maybe the BBC girl, I thought what the fuck do any of these know about music, and what the fuck are they doing on the panel? And after the bands had played their 17 minutes or 3 songs allocated slot and we, the judges went for deliberation, I realised that none of them knew anything about music!
Just for the record, Bad Dog won the competition. The winner was announced on stage at the end (after a good 20 minute set by Courteous Thief) and there was huge anticipation beforehand, lots of fans cheering and waiting for the announcement;
‘And the winner is… Bad Dog.’ – Bemused silence….
No offence to Bad Dog, or any of the bands in fact, but the ‘judges’ were rapturous over the way you played a Guns’n’Roses cover. It was a COVER VERSION – that should’ve meant ZERO POINTS for originality, which is what any of the bands that played a cover got off me. Why not call it a Battle of The Karaoke Queens instead? I digress. Judges aside it was a good evening, I got to see 10 bands play their 3 best songs (sans covers), which saved travelling all over North Wales to be bored watching full sets by each one, and I also found a couple of decent new bands in Jed is Dead and Y Cer. I knew already about Zebedy and Kixxstart Kitty, Future Perfect were quite quirky, Rumour, Bad Dog and Longshot were okay and Whiskey & Lace were simply disturbing!!
Would I judge another one? No, but who am I to pass judgement…
February 20, 2011 @ 4:20 pm
Good blog Neil, sums up the entire BoTB thing quite succinctly
February 20, 2011 @ 4:44 pm
Hang your head in shame, nothing, no excuses can be made for sitting on that judging panel. BUT at least now you have heard of Y Cer — yet another band to come out of Holyhead!!
Here’s another that may not have hit your radar yet – The Syncopation Clause – not your typical backwater wannabe band – http://the-syncopation-clause.believeband.com/
And remember Holyhead may only be a tiny place but we have 4 or 5 pubs that regularly host live nights
February 20, 2011 @ 8:05 pm
I agree with all your points GD, although Emily Gresham of Jed is Dead commented that she didn’t care about the result and just the opportunity to play on such a big stage with a great set up was like winning it anyway. I am sort of leaning to the way that Carl and his gang put this whole thing together with the intention of promoting music, rather than feathering their own nest, and I have to admit I was really sceptical when they announced the venue; I thought they’d never even half fill the place (it sold out) – and that can’t be a bad thing. If they held one next year I’d probably support it as it’s being done for the right reasons – lets face it, music in NWales needs a serious boost of late.
As for Holyhead, it is a thriving little hotspot at the moment isn’t it! Pity it’s so far to get to from Crud Camp (Liverpool is closer) – but that’s no excuse, I must pay my annual respects again soon.
Will also check out Syncopation Clause.
March 11, 2011 @ 1:22 pm
I think youll find that all the bands were TOLD to do at least one cover, which all but two or three bands did, including Y Cer, KK Rumour etc. Appreciate your opinion, but you were obviously not informed of the ‘RULES’ that were given to all the bands. I recall Y Cer doing a great set of two original songs and one cover of Sex on Fire, and Bad Dog did two originals and a cover of Sweet Child, and KK covered the Beastie Boys Fight for your Right. You were meant to mark on originality..true, but that was just one area of marking. Its obvious that in the cover song you were looking for things like showmanship, musical ability etc. I agree that the judging panel was somewhat dubious, but all 10 bands had the same judges!!
April 1, 2011 @ 8:09 am
interesting, because the judges were TOLD that bands were to play original material…
April 12, 2011 @ 12:37 pm
The bands were told to play two original songs, and a cover. So you were not misinformed as far as the originals are concerned, but you clearly had not been told about the cover rule. Or maybe your being awkward for the sake of it? because after all you have stated that ‘botb SUCK BIG TIME’. So maybe this blog is your way of showing the NW Music scene that your still ‘cool’, and even though you did it, you thought the bands were shit and the judges were unfit? I think if you were a real music fan and critic then you wouldnt be so negative about so many bands, in this blog and others. You complain that there is a poor music scene in North Wales, but when people try and put together a band and gig etc you knock them down. Are you doing this so you can keep complaining?
April 12, 2011 @ 6:06 pm
Ok… I was either clearly misinformed as you said, or I’m lying (awkward in your words) to show the NW Music scene that I’m still ‘cool’ – (Yeah I’ve got my inflated ego at stake here and should delete your comments and pretend you don’t exist).
Please give me examples of where I’m being negative toward bands, or least unwarranted negativity, so at least I know where I’m going wrong? And while you’re at it please tell me where exactly I said the bands were ‘shit’..?
I guess you’re in one of the bands, know one of them well enough, or are one of the judges or organisers – if you feel that strong about the whole thing then I suggest you mount a campaign to get me to take this whole site down as I only use it as a springboard to keep complaining…
By the way – Battles of The Bands SUCK BIG TIME cos they end up pissing people off enough to start trolling like you and I have…
April 12, 2011 @ 6:27 pm
Just to add a little input, I was in one of the bands that played at the event and we did not do covers. We did this, not to defy the rules, but purely because we were either not told that we HAD to do a cover (which does seem completly pointless due to the nature of the event), or that it wasn’t actually a requirement.
Also, if playing a cover was a requirement, why did a number of bands choose not to do this? Especially if it meant we would be marked down for it.
Either way, it was a fun event regardless.
April 22, 2011 @ 4:09 pm
It’s not BOTB that have got us ‘trolling’, it’s your negativity, that SUCKS BIG TIME. You made personal comments about bands, saying that they were disturbing! and saying that bands were ‘okay’, it’s a shame they werent all up to your standard.
April 23, 2011 @ 8:40 pm
Look, you’re getting boring now… Rumour, Bad Dog and Longshot were okay (as are many other bands) – if a band is shit, and there are plenty of them, then I tend not to review them rather than give out negative publicity. I will review a band who were awful if I think they may have something to offer in the future and they show potential, but then I run the risk of being bombarded by their parents or by themselves pretending to be fans, but that’s the risk of reviewing bands I guess!
If you wanna read a nice safe review of your band then send your demo to the local paper where some post-grad Coldplay listener with a Childrens’ Thesaurus will big you up.
Whiskey & Lace were simply disturbing, as is Marilyn Manson, but it’s never done him any harm has it?
Now please go and fuck off and do something positive like send in some reviews and support the scene rather than knock the VERY FEW who bother to turn up, build websites and take the time and effort to report on it at their own expense.