(Published in Macher fanzine – issue 1)
Hi pop pickers, how honoured I felt when Dave rang me up & asked moi to compile a column in N.Wales’ newest fanzine it’s about time too as the lazy git has been threatening to do one for eons. So, Gogledd Cymru? Well if the UK was desperate for a shit, North WaI-es would be No.1 choice for the arsehole. If you’re young, sick of the crap on TV & can see a little further than the bottom of your pint glass, then there’s fuck all entertain-ment in the area (apart from your twiddley bits). There was a time when a person could hop on the bus & watch the Damned, SLF, Jam, Cockney Rejects, Clash etc. Nowadays yer fuckin lucky if 4Q play in the area. WHY? A considerable lack of venues, & the ones that are available, you either pay through the nose to hire or they are run by non-gambling, dodgy promoters.
4Q have played over 40 gigs outside Wales this year & have only been banned 4 times. We have played 8 gigs in this area & have been SIX times. And yet the stage act is genera-lly the same. So unless your band is called Toni & Terry & you sing shitty pop songs over a Bontempi organ then people are going to get upset. After a lot of thought I’ve concluded that the only decent thing for North Wales is a FUCKING GREAT BOMB!
I understand Rhys Mywn (spelt wrong) has also had the honour of his own column in MACHER, pah! These international rock stars get all the bonuses in life. I also heard that The Flaps have been immobilised for a few months after a car crash. They’re okay but Alan the bassist insisted on breaking his leg. They should’ve been driving faster!!
Thanx for your time & thanx to Dave Belchin Weindecker for the space. If you’re a news-paper editor reviewing this zine- fuck shit piss panty cunty bollock brained bastids. Drop me a line (of white crystallised powder) to THE HOUSE OF CRUD